“Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past.” I found the statement in The Forgiveness Project in the story of Marian Partington Marian’s sister was a victim of rape, torture, and murder. If Marian Partington can find a way to forgive those who inflicted such horrific atrocities upon her sister, then how can I not follow suit when the grudges I have held pale in comparison? Marian’s story is one of hundreds; stories of war, terrorist acts, loss of loved ones, all huge by comparison to the ego feeding litany of “me and my story.”
I’ve been working on this forgiveness issue, seemingly for a long time, but in truth probably only a few months. Initially, I thought it somehow was not necessary, gave permission to those who had committed such awful grievances against me as not giving me the “recognition” I deserved to come back for a repeat performance, and completely impossible. Every single solitary time I pick up a book about how to be more in the moment, how to make the earth a better place, how to be healthier, the recurring theme is that I will find happiness when I forgive. That goes double for forgiving myself for all those stupid decisions I made in those black abyss of depression days. You know, the ones that go like this: “what was I thinking when I bought that?”
It seems that I’ve been going at it from an obtuse angle. I don’t have to know HOW to forgive, I only need to be open to learning how, and the Universe will supply the rest.I’ve gotten it, at least partially, and am now looking back on the not too distant past, at a situation where I was so utterly convinced I was the one being wronged – and indeed, I was making a major contribution to the problem. I kept it alive every time I talked to my friends about it, rather than going to the source and working things out like an adult.
Louise Hay’s 64 card Wisdom deck contains these messages:
· I release all old hurts and forgive everyone, including myself. I can never get even. Reveng3e does not work, because what I give out comes back at me. The buck has to stop somewhere.
· Guilt never makes anyone feel better, nor does it change a situation. I now stop feeling guilty. I let myself out of that prison. I forgive myself for any wrongdoing.
· I do not have to know how to forgive. All I have to do is be willing to forgive. The Universe will take care of the how. I forgive all past experiences.
In Zen, I learn – Forgive yourself and everyone around you. When you judge others, YOU are the one who feels pain. Through forgiveness, all pain disappears.
Shakti Gawain’s Creative Visualization – page 119 contains the following affirmations: I now forgive and release EVERYONE in my life. We are all happy and free. I now let go of all accumulated guilt. fears, resentment, disappointments, and grudges. I am free and clear!
She goes on to suggest writing down on a piece of paper the names of everyone in my life who I feel has ever mistreated me, harmed me, done me any injustice, or toward whom I feel resentment, hurt or anger. Next to the names, write down what they did to me, or what I resent them for. Then, close my eyes, relax, and one by one visualize or imagine each person. Hold a conversation with each one, and explain to him or her that in the past I have felt anger or hurt toward them, but that now I am going to do my best to forgive them for everything, and to dissolve and release all constricted energy between us. Give them a blessing and say “ I forgive you and release you. Go your own way and be happy.” When I’ve finished this process, write on my paper “I now forgive you and release you all” and throw it away, as a symbol that I am letting go of those past experiences.
She continues with the ideas that the process of forgiveness is miraculous in relieving people of their long standing burdens of accumulated resentments and hostility. The wonderful thing is that those who are named, even if I never see them again, will on a psychic level pick up my forgiveness and it will help to clear up their lives as well.
Sounds like a good idea to me! I’m off to create my list. Think instead of tossing it in the trash I’ll ritually burn it. Let all that resentment go up in smoke and ashes, where it belongs.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Friday, February 08, 2008
WHAT IS GOING ON IN MY CORNER OF THE UNIVERSE
Of late I’ve been reading, praying, meditating, studying, observing, learning, seeing, feeling, really focusing on the smallest glimmering bits of truth and beauty, (as if THEY were exclusive of each other!) I’ve also been walking…. with the pack of two… a lot. As you can see by the date of my last entry, I’ve been sidetracked away from blogging, for which I apologize to my loyal and very singular reader (you know who you are…) I am here, now.
Historically books habitually jump off shelves and foist themselves upon me willy nilly (as IF there were no coincidences!) Throughout the years I’ve come to view it as the Universe’s way of letting me know what I am to do next. Well, when Reverend Temple said recently, “if you pray for big things to happen to you, get ready for some big changes!” she was NOT kidding.
In the past, oh, I don’t know…. eight years (Has it been eight years already?) I’ve undergone some major paradigm shifts, truly life changing experiences of the sort that really get your attention and caused me to question everything I thought I knew up to that point. Without resorting to one of those “me and my story” litanies, suffice it to say I hit one of those fork in the road spots in life, and while I may be on the road less travelled, I am so not second guessing my decision.
My road led straight to First Unity Church , a concept I’d resisted for many years. My wily pal Claudia wooed me there with a trip to the Wings Bookstore in its’ previous incarnation when it was located within the church. The bookstore grew, almost as fast as I have, and was relocated to its’ own home on the church campus. See photo
After numerous full price purchases, I’ve succumbed to being a member of the Wings Bookstore Frequent Flyer club (thereby saving 10%) where the ever effervescent manager Sharon Jebens artfully arranges all manner of books, angels, aromatherapy objects, yoga wear, Zen cards, oracle cards, incense, Feng Shui materials, greeting cards, bumper stickers, stones with inspirational sayings, and on and on and on. (If time permitted, I’d make an exhaustive alphabetical list of the fabulous offerings, but I want to get to the tofu of the matter. And that is this – every book I’ve read recently is sending the same message, in different language perhaps, but the same underlying theme of “what it’s all about, Alfie and it is just for the moment we live.” Every single page I turn has reinforced the concept of a collective consciousness, that we create all that we see, experience, our lives, our very lives are formed initially by our thoughts. Our thoughts, negative, positive, and neutral, all become prayers and prayers are always answered. I LOVE LOVE LOVE all the confirmation I am getting about how what is necessary to be happy is to be aware, conscious, present in each and every moment. It’s to see each and every human being (and aren’t those two powerful words interconnected – can’t have one without the other!) through the eyes of the Almighty as perfect, and whole. In that way, I will be surrounded - bathed by love; pure, sweet, love.
Recent influential and mightily uplifting books:
1. The Book, On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are, by Alan Watts. Alan writes extensively about our ego, about how the concept of loving your enemies makes perfect sense, about how until we all recognize we all have components of “good” and “bad” and that it is how we view those parts that makes a difference. He writes that if he asked me what happened yesterday, what did I hear, smell, see, taste, etc. that likely my answer would be a thin sketchy outline, and how much better it would be if I could answer, “oh a zillion things but it would take forever to tell you and I am much more interested in what is happening right now.”
2. Of Monkeys and Dragons by Michele O’Donnell. I heard Michele speak at First Unity, bought the book and couldn’t believe what I learned about the how and why of dis-ease and healing. I couldn’t believe finally(!) someone understood how and why I feel the way I do about the medical profession, about illness, about many things…. Too many to mention, but again, the recurring theme that what we believe we see is what will be presented to us. If we choose to see all as through the filter of the eyes of G-d, then that is what we shall see.
3. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle This is the kind of book I’d like everyone I know to read – not because I want to “change” anyone else, but because it is precisely what the world needs to know to change our collective consciousness for all living creatures up to and including Gaia. Eckhart Tolle addresses our ‘pain bodies’ our egos, and how and why the ego needs to complain, whine, and gossip to get what it needs to stay in control. But only by defeating the ego can I find a way to be present in the moment….and that moment, this moment, is all I have. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow never comes. If I’m sitting around waiting for something to happen, I will surely miss millions of moments. Oh, here’s one from earlier today. I saw a dandelion, as if for the first time in my life. When was the last time I picked a dandelion and blew the tiny wings into the air? A hundred years ago? I looked at that dandelion, and was filled with wonder at its exquisiteness. . Oprah and Eckhart Tolle will be conducting a webcast and I am participating. Please join me!
4. A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen First Unity handed out the bracelets, and I committed to going 21 days without complaining, gossiping, or criticizing. So far, I am working toward the completion of day five. My dear and very bright friend Claudia says it’s a piece of cake for me since I work from home. That may be true. My tests arrive in the form of telephone calls, visits to the post office, driving, grocery stores, etc. And I do admit it likely IS easier for me with limited contact of the co-worker/customer service variety. However, I still could use support from my friends and family – in the form of a gentle smile when something slips from my lips… and my bracelet slips ever so easily onto the other wrist.
So here’s the thing….. I’ve read (Michele O’Donnell AND Eckhart Tolle agree) that seeing violence as in tv shows like CSI and Numbers, illness in the form of tv shows like ER and Grey’s Anatomy, and movies that are of a similar vein is counterproductive for my goal and objective of being happy. That said, I’m dedicated to finding happy uplifting stuff on tv and in books, and movies. So if you have any suggested reading or watching material, please drop me a line or submit a comment. I’d be evah so grateful dahlin’!
Of late I’ve been reading, praying, meditating, studying, observing, learning, seeing, feeling, really focusing on the smallest glimmering bits of truth and beauty, (as if THEY were exclusive of each other!) I’ve also been walking…. with the pack of two… a lot. As you can see by the date of my last entry, I’ve been sidetracked away from blogging, for which I apologize to my loyal and very singular reader (you know who you are…) I am here, now.
Historically books habitually jump off shelves and foist themselves upon me willy nilly (as IF there were no coincidences!) Throughout the years I’ve come to view it as the Universe’s way of letting me know what I am to do next. Well, when Reverend Temple said recently, “if you pray for big things to happen to you, get ready for some big changes!” she was NOT kidding.
In the past, oh, I don’t know…. eight years (Has it been eight years already?) I’ve undergone some major paradigm shifts, truly life changing experiences of the sort that really get your attention and caused me to question everything I thought I knew up to that point. Without resorting to one of those “me and my story” litanies, suffice it to say I hit one of those fork in the road spots in life, and while I may be on the road less travelled, I am so not second guessing my decision.
My road led straight to First Unity Church , a concept I’d resisted for many years. My wily pal Claudia wooed me there with a trip to the Wings Bookstore in its’ previous incarnation when it was located within the church. The bookstore grew, almost as fast as I have, and was relocated to its’ own home on the church campus. See photo
After numerous full price purchases, I’ve succumbed to being a member of the Wings Bookstore Frequent Flyer club (thereby saving 10%) where the ever effervescent manager Sharon Jebens artfully arranges all manner of books, angels, aromatherapy objects, yoga wear, Zen cards, oracle cards, incense, Feng Shui materials, greeting cards, bumper stickers, stones with inspirational sayings, and on and on and on. (If time permitted, I’d make an exhaustive alphabetical list of the fabulous offerings, but I want to get to the tofu of the matter. And that is this – every book I’ve read recently is sending the same message, in different language perhaps, but the same underlying theme of “what it’s all about, Alfie and it is just for the moment we live.” Every single page I turn has reinforced the concept of a collective consciousness, that we create all that we see, experience, our lives, our very lives are formed initially by our thoughts. Our thoughts, negative, positive, and neutral, all become prayers and prayers are always answered. I LOVE LOVE LOVE all the confirmation I am getting about how what is necessary to be happy is to be aware, conscious, present in each and every moment. It’s to see each and every human being (and aren’t those two powerful words interconnected – can’t have one without the other!) through the eyes of the Almighty as perfect, and whole. In that way, I will be surrounded - bathed by love; pure, sweet, love.
Recent influential and mightily uplifting books:
1. The Book, On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are, by Alan Watts. Alan writes extensively about our ego, about how the concept of loving your enemies makes perfect sense, about how until we all recognize we all have components of “good” and “bad” and that it is how we view those parts that makes a difference. He writes that if he asked me what happened yesterday, what did I hear, smell, see, taste, etc. that likely my answer would be a thin sketchy outline, and how much better it would be if I could answer, “oh a zillion things but it would take forever to tell you and I am much more interested in what is happening right now.”
2. Of Monkeys and Dragons by Michele O’Donnell. I heard Michele speak at First Unity, bought the book and couldn’t believe what I learned about the how and why of dis-ease and healing. I couldn’t believe finally(!) someone understood how and why I feel the way I do about the medical profession, about illness, about many things…. Too many to mention, but again, the recurring theme that what we believe we see is what will be presented to us. If we choose to see all as through the filter of the eyes of G-d, then that is what we shall see.
3. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle This is the kind of book I’d like everyone I know to read – not because I want to “change” anyone else, but because it is precisely what the world needs to know to change our collective consciousness for all living creatures up to and including Gaia. Eckhart Tolle addresses our ‘pain bodies’ our egos, and how and why the ego needs to complain, whine, and gossip to get what it needs to stay in control. But only by defeating the ego can I find a way to be present in the moment….and that moment, this moment, is all I have. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow never comes. If I’m sitting around waiting for something to happen, I will surely miss millions of moments. Oh, here’s one from earlier today. I saw a dandelion, as if for the first time in my life. When was the last time I picked a dandelion and blew the tiny wings into the air? A hundred years ago? I looked at that dandelion, and was filled with wonder at its exquisiteness. . Oprah and Eckhart Tolle will be conducting a webcast and I am participating. Please join me!
4. A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen First Unity handed out the bracelets, and I committed to going 21 days without complaining, gossiping, or criticizing. So far, I am working toward the completion of day five. My dear and very bright friend Claudia says it’s a piece of cake for me since I work from home. That may be true. My tests arrive in the form of telephone calls, visits to the post office, driving, grocery stores, etc. And I do admit it likely IS easier for me with limited contact of the co-worker/customer service variety. However, I still could use support from my friends and family – in the form of a gentle smile when something slips from my lips… and my bracelet slips ever so easily onto the other wrist.
So here’s the thing….. I’ve read (Michele O’Donnell AND Eckhart Tolle agree) that seeing violence as in tv shows like CSI and Numbers, illness in the form of tv shows like ER and Grey’s Anatomy, and movies that are of a similar vein is counterproductive for my goal and objective of being happy. That said, I’m dedicated to finding happy uplifting stuff on tv and in books, and movies. So if you have any suggested reading or watching material, please drop me a line or submit a comment. I’d be evah so grateful dahlin’!
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