Saturday, June 17, 2006

THENextBookWritten ……

Seems as if there has been a hostile overthrow of what used to be my favorite place in the universe. Yes indeedy! We now watch with bated breath (unlike one of Ivory Snowbanks’ reviewers who anxiously awaits each chapter of theNeverEndingStory with

BAITED breath (I am not making this up,) as the ‘author’ of the ‘best’ novel writes the sequel and it, like its predecessor, moves up the ranks (rank being the operative) steadily, stealthily, and nauseatingly.

Our dear Ivory Snowbanks held nothing back in the previous competition. She pulled no punches, hesitated not for one second to play the pity card, nope not for one second. The end result is, as predicted, that no one was willing to tell the Empress her new stretch pants were transparent. While other reviewers reviewed with such lofty ideals in mind such as plot, character development, pacing, and oh, say plot (It IS worthy of repeating here,) Empress Ivory’s reviewers, who proclaimed they neither knew nor cared much for spelling, grammar or punctiashun, and would leave that for the profeshunals, focused on how much they simply loved loved loved Empress Ivory’s work of ‘Literary Fiction’.

As if that were not enough, she ‘supplemented’ the reviewer pool with members of her own genetic pool. It is interesting to read the reviews of the other novels in the top ten. One quickly realizes that the rest of the contenders apparently found the idea of coercing family members to vote, (errrrr review, yeah, that’s the ticket, review) was sort of, (well, exactly like) fishing in a barrel.

Now the competition has ended. The Empress can laugh all the way to the bank. The rest of the novel writers can proudly display their merit badge….. assuming they are not mortally embarrassed to have outsiders think that Empress Ivory’s winning ‘novel’ is the best there is to offer.

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